My legs hurt...........
Wrote this 10 years ago, boy to be that young now.
I just had a birthday and it sucked. My hair is graying faster than
I can color it, I'm out of shape, etc. Bob and I had been discussing
for several months about buying bicycles for all of us. It's relatively
flat here and there are lots of places to ride. Well, on Saturday we
decided to go for a ride to take scenery pictures. We passed a yard sale
and he spotted bikes and we thought we'd stop on the way back, and we did.
The kids all got out and picked out bikes....and the fella selling them
brought a special one out of storage..shiny and blue, looked perfect.
They delivered them yesterday. Now I haven't had my tucus on a bike
for 23 years. The last time I rode a bike was somewhere right after 10
speeds first came out. We used to spend all day on bikes, riding for miles
and miles. I remembered how much fun it was and couldn't wait to hop on.
Much to the delight of the children, we went out to the alley to
try them out. I didn't want my first experience as a middle aged person
to be viewed by the entire neighborhood. So I hopped on and took off.
I'm glad the police weren't around or I'd have been in jail for PUI,
pedaling while intoxicated). I weaved so much my son went into hysterics
laughing. I told him it wasn't me, it was the pedals...they weren't in
the same place they used to be 23 years ago. And what's with the height?
I don't remember my knees hitting my boobs the last time I rode..what's
up with that?
The next problem I noted was the seat. It was hard as a rock and
about the size of a feminine napkin. Remember, I was used to "banana seats"
way back when. Once Bob found the crow bar and removed the seat from my rear,
I felt much better. This was funny to my children also, because my mother in
law had just told me a few hours earlier that if she had a bike it would
have to have a tractor seat. At this point, I wondered where the nearest
farm store was. Bob and his little tushy of course did just fine..he didn't
wobble at all. He went out and got me a better padded seat, which my son
laughed at too (but today he borrowed MY bike because the seat feels nice).
After a couple of hours to let the feeling return below the waist, I decided
I would not let this evil metal contraption defeat me. We waited until dark,
yes dark, to actually go for a ride. That way, if I wrecked, hit a tree,
or the seat became lodged again, nobody would see. Off we went, so far so
good...pedals working, brakes working, wind blowing my hair..ahhhh like
the good old days. Then we got to the second half of the block and my thighs
spasmed. I don't mean twinged, I mean full fledge knees up around
the ears spasm. I figured it had something to do with the fact I had it in the
hardest gear..and when did they start putting a gear on each side of the
handlebars (do they still call them handlebars?). I found the lowest speed
which meant for every 50 or so rotations on the pedals, I went one foot.
We actually made it almost around one block before the spasms got so bad I had
to push it the rest of the way home. My oldest sons, contacted via ICQ and
told of our new adventure, found it immensely funny. One said he would be
willing to pay money to see that (of course I'd have to loan him the money).
Today was another day. There it sat in the yard, shining, calling to me
"heyyyyy old lady.....give up?" We didn't wait until quite dark this time..
you could still sorta see the road. This time was better, found the pedals
the first time, found the gears..made it 3/4 blocks, had a good downhill
momentum, then had to stop for a car...darnit...made it 1/2 a block more
and gave up and pushed. Tomorrow is another day and I will NOT give up.
I will make it to the other end of town before winter! I will not spasm!
I will not ride past the moped store and consider it...I will NOT pedal
only as far as Dairy Queen and give up. Good exercise for the kids too...
they can't wait to go for a ride with mommy...best laughs they've had in weeks.
I just had a birthday and it sucked. My hair is graying faster than
I can color it, I'm out of shape, etc. Bob and I had been discussing
for several months about buying bicycles for all of us. It's relatively
flat here and there are lots of places to ride. Well, on Saturday we
decided to go for a ride to take scenery pictures. We passed a yard sale
and he spotted bikes and we thought we'd stop on the way back, and we did.
The kids all got out and picked out bikes....and the fella selling them
brought a special one out of storage..shiny and blue, looked perfect.
They delivered them yesterday. Now I haven't had my tucus on a bike
for 23 years. The last time I rode a bike was somewhere right after 10
speeds first came out. We used to spend all day on bikes, riding for miles
and miles. I remembered how much fun it was and couldn't wait to hop on.
Much to the delight of the children, we went out to the alley to
try them out. I didn't want my first experience as a middle aged person
to be viewed by the entire neighborhood. So I hopped on and took off.
I'm glad the police weren't around or I'd have been in jail for PUI,
pedaling while intoxicated). I weaved so much my son went into hysterics
laughing. I told him it wasn't me, it was the pedals...they weren't in
the same place they used to be 23 years ago. And what's with the height?
I don't remember my knees hitting my boobs the last time I rode..what's
up with that?
The next problem I noted was the seat. It was hard as a rock and
about the size of a feminine napkin. Remember, I was used to "banana seats"
way back when. Once Bob found the crow bar and removed the seat from my rear,
I felt much better. This was funny to my children also, because my mother in
law had just told me a few hours earlier that if she had a bike it would
have to have a tractor seat. At this point, I wondered where the nearest
farm store was. Bob and his little tushy of course did just fine..he didn't
wobble at all. He went out and got me a better padded seat, which my son
laughed at too (but today he borrowed MY bike because the seat feels nice).
After a couple of hours to let the feeling return below the waist, I decided
I would not let this evil metal contraption defeat me. We waited until dark,
yes dark, to actually go for a ride. That way, if I wrecked, hit a tree,
or the seat became lodged again, nobody would see. Off we went, so far so
good...pedals working, brakes working, wind blowing my hair..ahhhh like
the good old days. Then we got to the second half of the block and my thighs
spasmed. I don't mean twinged, I mean full fledge knees up around
the ears spasm. I figured it had something to do with the fact I had it in the
hardest gear..and when did they start putting a gear on each side of the
handlebars (do they still call them handlebars?). I found the lowest speed
which meant for every 50 or so rotations on the pedals, I went one foot.
We actually made it almost around one block before the spasms got so bad I had
to push it the rest of the way home. My oldest sons, contacted via ICQ and
told of our new adventure, found it immensely funny. One said he would be
willing to pay money to see that (of course I'd have to loan him the money).
Today was another day. There it sat in the yard, shining, calling to me
"heyyyyy old lady.....give up?" We didn't wait until quite dark this time..
you could still sorta see the road. This time was better, found the pedals
the first time, found the gears..made it 3/4 blocks, had a good downhill
momentum, then had to stop for a car...darnit...made it 1/2 a block more
and gave up and pushed. Tomorrow is another day and I will NOT give up.
I will make it to the other end of town before winter! I will not spasm!
I will not ride past the moped store and consider it...I will NOT pedal
only as far as Dairy Queen and give up. Good exercise for the kids too...
they can't wait to go for a ride with mommy...best laughs they've had in weeks.
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