Drama from a nutcase

 I married my ex at age 19, I am now 64. Right off his mother was nasty to me and offered him a fake check for 5000 to get rid of me. I had one child and we had 3 more (left first child's father due to drinking, grew up around alcoholics). Married in 1981. He worked in corrections and couldn't keep a job. He was one of those who if not promoted to boss god in six months, he quit. We lived all over the country and got to see a lot. In 1986 we were in Colorado and he worked for a county jail. I got word from another officer I was friends with that he was going to the roof on lunch with a female officer. I picked him up at night so hid the car and waited and caught him with the officer in a car and he said he was *consoling* her. Right... I let it go because I had fallen out of love already. He had no friends because he wanted to be the *know* guy who knew everything. Fast forward to 1990. He joined a cult religion that doesn't allow you to even talk to family members. I loved his grandparents and threatened to leave. He switched to Judiasm. This time he wanted to move to Nebraska and I had a newborn, so he went ahead. When we went he acted very strange, you know how when somebody seems to be holding something inside? He had been staying with another officer and his wife and eventually admitted to her *playing the flute* but said it wasn't an affair because she did it to him. She lived about 200 feet from us and he even had the nerve to bring her over. I had enough and said I was taking the kids and going back to home state of WV. He went too and said if I let him finish college he would let me go and I wouldn't have to work (I had worked since 14). I started going as well before work. He started to get early morning phone calls from let's call her Shady, and said he tutored her. Now this is a man with an IQ of a flat tire. Come to find out from somebody at college he was seeing a married woman who did this so her husband would buy her stuff to come home. She even started leaving nastygrams on my vehicle. I divorced him and remarried later on and we even had to let him stay with us a bit and when he moved out we helped with groceries. We had all the kids and they rarely saw him. He lived not far away from us and brought the married woman to stay with her daughter. Later she said she needed to go get her things so he rented her a car and lo and behold she called him and told him the car was parked at a grocery store 1000 miles away and he would have to go get it. So after trashing me to his entire family and anybody who would listen, he calls us and asks us to take him to get it. Moved back to FL and set him up on a dating site and he met somebody and got married. She had been in trouble for abusing her own kids and one day when daughter was visititng (let me add she was going blind from RP), she served a salad with brown lettuce and daughter said she wasn't eating that and she slapped her off the chair. Old son reported this and they were found guilty, ordered to attend anger management and not see the kids without the state watching. Instead they took off to AZ. He put this wife in bankruptcy and moved her around because again he couldn't keep a job. Fast forward more and he went to home state for a high school reunion and he met up for a former classmate. Second son caught him on phone with her talking about their meet up and told him to tell his wife or he would. Well *Dan* refused so my son did tell and she called him a liar. Not long after he took this side piece to his wife's house to collect his stuff. Her oldest son stayed with us a bit and told of all he had done. He has had several affairs now and goes back and forth to this woman. He used all of her retirement. Another kicked him out as he refused to work (happened twice). Let me add he had to switch to a poorly run college to even graduate and still didn't work. Another dumped him because he said if they went on a cruise he would pay her back, he didn't. He had meet ups with a woman in a parking lot and picked up an STD. The last one, he stole her jewelry, wrecked her vehicle, faked injury in an accident and got a settlement and left her too. His mom was diagnosed with cancer and he was living with her and she asked him to at least pay the water bill so while she was hospitalized he left and told ridiculous stories, like she wanted him to bathe her. Guess who had to go 1000 miles and move her in? She stayed with us and was happy, we took her on her first train ride, she had her first birthday party, etc. When she passed, not a word from him. When his grandparents passed, not a tear, he said he didn't miss people like that. One son got a high paying job in government. I put him through school and he said when he graduated he was taking me to Japan, where he studied. Right before graduation he quit speaking. I found out later his dad told him he was abused by me as a child and made to sleep outside due to having red hair, and jerked out of bed and beaten every night. This put the son in therapy. He used to laugh and say this son would support him. He had a psychiatric hospitalization and was told to never have a weapon. So he left the state, bought a minister's certificate online for $20, and joined the national guard. That didn't last long but he wears a uniform and gets the free meals. Now he claims to have 2 master's degrees, claims to be a Jewish cleric, and can hear voices when he starts up his metronome. He tells stories that he raised the kids, that I never worked, etc and I used to hear from his women (by the way we called him a hobosexual). The one son still didn't speak for over 20 years now and when I saw him at another son's wedding he said he was told I beat him every night and I said tell me how, I worked night shift and he had no answer but said he hoped I would die. How do you deal with a son who was told and believes all of it, even though he has told he knows the man has mental problems. The other kids can't stand him and this son is *off* now and told his nieces their mother doesn't love them and more. He also claims now to have been a military commander *this I reported to them* and woman fall for it, which is sad. I do not bother either one of them, I have worked too hard and not interested in the drama. Youngest son said he hopes he gets a certain type of malady since karma is on a break.