Pink Floyd

 I'm currently working and watching a young black man listen to Pink Floyd for the first time on youtube.  He is listening to Dark Side of the moon.  When you get older sometimes memories flood back like a landslide and that's what happened.  When I first heard this, it was on 8-track and the four of us, Kay, Greg and Derb were sitting in his candy apple red 65 Mustang overlooking a lake, getting high as a kite and laughing and listening.

Back then it was just very surreal and cool music, and now at my age of 62 I get it.  The song time about how the world doesn't change, we do, getting older and short of breath.  My very best female friend Kay died of breast cancer and I think of our friendship a lot, where we went, what we did and how close we were, more like sisters.  Derb (Darrell) was my best friend from 7th grade and we spent nearly ever waking hour together.  My mom was dying with cancer and he would call her and do his Donald Duck voice and make her laugh.  They would talk for up to 30 minutes before she would hand me the phone, and he and I talked until one of us fell asleep.  Back in high school he told me he loved me, but I felt unlovable based on things I had been called, told, and treated.  I should have listened, life would be so different.  My friend Greg and I were friends from 5th grade on, he lived next to Kay.  We all four were extremely tight and still had different relationships separately with each other.  We spent nearly ever weekend at the lake in Summersville.  Over the years we all kept in touch.  It finally ended pretty much with Greg over the alcoholism, mostly of his wife.  Derb had an aneurysm that left him with aphasia and a paralyzed side.  He lived with us a bit until his behavior became angry.  I miss him a lot and send him things frequently.  I have not had any other friendships like this and it gets very lonely.

The song Wish You Were Here was a favorite my entire life and still is and now has a different meaning to me.  I wish they WERE here.  I am not happy with my life, put in a wheelchair by a bad surgeon, spouse is abusive, one son hates me for no reason and the other well..........  My daughter moved to another country and that makes me very sad.  I'm happy for her but miss her and laughing.  

I think I'm at the point of "Comfortably Numb" on the site when I am alone of a night, all are asleep, just me and my dog after taking my weed gummy.  I have to be careful of intrusive thoughts and heartbreak all the time.  This album is so very important to me and memories.  God I miss being young and having hope.