What is it with exes?
I've tried to wrap my head around how some people act for several years now and it's not working so far.
I was married the first time just under 14 years. It was pretty uneventful, we had a lot in common regarding current events, the news, travel, etc. We were both working for the state and making a decent living with 2 small boys when he decided he wanted to leave WV for Dallas. I wasn't thrilled but I went along. His grandfather had bought us a car and kept the car to try to keep us from leaving. We went on a Greyhound bus to Dallas. Talk about culture shock. We rented a room in south Dallas, not the best neighborhood by any means. He got a job with the sheriffs department and we rented an apartment in Garland. It was a new complex but infested with roaches like you wouldn't believe. We stayed a few months then went to a neighboring complex. Later we went to Richardson. I got a job with a large insurance company downtown. I had to jump in there and learn to drive in that traffic. Imagine going from 2 lands to 8! I found it fun though. The storms scared the bejesus out of me to say the least. We did a lot with the boys, taking them to the zoo, Nasa, museums, etc. We were there a couple of years when he decided he wasn't moving up fast enough in his job. He decided we were going to Colorado, so off we went. We stayed in a really nice apartment when we first got there and then found a house in a great neighborhood. The rents were extremely high, the apartment was 550 back in 1987. The house was 400 because it needed work. It was an adorable bungalow and we had to take up the horse hair carpet, paint, tear out bushes out front, redo the kitchen. Our landlord was on a mission in Africa. From this point we made trips to all the forts in Wyoming, historic sites in Colorado, drove to Salt Lake City, on to Nevada, up to Mt Rushmore. It was like an extended vacation. He made good money for that time too. We got the house completed and furnished. During this time I would get anonymous calls from a female telling me my husband was making trips to the roof of the jail with a female officer, something he denied. One night when I went to pick him up from work, I watched him and this female get into her car and become very chummy, leaning in together. When I walked up to the car they both jumped and he assured me he was just comforting her during a bad situation.
Not long after that, I had sent the landlord photos of the work we had done and we got a letter asking us to stay in the home until he returned, rent free. Unfortunately he had decided to leave again, this time to Florida. Once again I had to get rid of nearly everything, I mailed boxes to the post office in Florida so we could pick them up when we got there. We made the trip and stayed in a god awful 8 x 30 mobile home. When I went to open a drawer, a flying roach came out and sent me screaming into the yard. We moved to a motel run by Indians who were very nice and we made friends with their family. He got a job at the prison and we found an apartment. Slowly we began to get it furnished, and found out our third child was on the way. I went to work in the officers bar just outside the prison. We were there when Bundy was in prison and I worked the bar the day he was executed. We had hundreds of visitors.
The only bad thing about this apartment was it was the migration route for wood spiders the size of saucers. I remember when one came through and went under the sofa sleeper, I picked the thing up with one arm and turned it over. We also had possum come to the back door and the boys and I would peek under the curtains and watch them. We had a crazy older neighbor who played the organ and sang, and I use that word loosely, all hours. When we asked her to turn it down, she began stealing our stuff and putting it in the dumpster. We moved across town to a 3 bedroom unit. It snowed right after we moved in and we about froze to death. It was cinderblock with single pane windows.
Again he didn't feel like he was moving up quick enough so he transferred to the prison outside Orlando. We moved into a high rise overlooking the Nasa launch pad. The launches were amazing to watch, and the sonic boom when the jets brought the shuttles back would jar you out of bed. We met people from all over the world and kept in touch for years. While here I went to work for the condos doing make readies and pool maintenance, besides having a large paper route. In all I brought home around 1200, good for 1990. Our daughter was born in 1991. It was excruciatingly hot on the yard at the prison and they would make him ride in a truck without air and just circle the yard nonstop. When he feel asleep they wrote him up. He worked a second job at Sears and caught a sergeant stealing a garage door opener and trying to get a refund. He talked to the boss at the prison and HE was the one who was ostracized, not the other guy.
Our daughter was born and that very night I went back to work on my route. I worked with Nasa engineers who had paper routes for extra money, and they got us tickets to watch launches up close. The larger apartment we had moved to was nice, but somebody tried to break in on us. We went to another and the night we came home from having our daughter at the ER, our car was stolen along with her special formula. A kid stole it and wrecked it and they refused to prosecute since he was so young. He decided he wasn't going to make it here and decided to go to Nebraska.
With 3 kids and a newborn I drove him up there. He decided to stay in a nice shelter while getting started to work and I went back to Florida. Soon after one of his coworkers invited him to stay with them. He went on and on about the guy's wife, Sonny, who was Korean (he loved foreign women). Every time I talked to him he went on and on about her. He finally found us a place to live so we packed up and went to Lincoln. When I got there he was standoffish and acted like he was hiding something. When I finally got it out of him, he'd had an affair with her, but said it was her fault. She lived 3 doors away with her husband and would stop over all the time, which was pretty ballsy. She and her husband eventually moved and I heard they divorced. My spouse acted like it was no big deal.
There I went to work in the mental health unit of the prison. It took nearly half an hour to go deep into the section where I worked. From there I went to work at the hospital, a very good job. Our oldest son had been diagnosed with diabetes in Florida and it was becoming very difficult to control. He was in and out of the hospital all the time and once was in for 8 months while they tried to control it. Our insurance tried to have him transferred to a psych facility so they would only have to pay 50% of the cost, but our cantor knew people at the news station who threatened to be there with cameras if they tried, so they stopped. My son became friends with Larry, the former KKK leader who had become friends with our cantor, Michael Weisser, and who Michael's family had taken in. He was also diabetic and he loved my son dearly.
Again he decided to leave, citing the prison system was too liberal. I liked it there, it was very very safe. He took us to Louisiana to see a prison in the middle of nowhere and there were nothing but cigar houses and a pizza hut in town. We took the kids there to eat and one person remarked cows weren't allowed indoors. Classy. When we got back to Nebraska I told him I'm not going there, I'm going home to WV. I was tired of being uprooted non stop. We went back and I went to work at the hospital and loved it. I had a lot of responsibility and the pay was good. He was working for the state police but decided it wasn't good enough and he wanted to go back to school and I said fine. He told me if I put him through he would work and let me not work for once and go. During this time our oldest became sicker and had over a quarter million in hospital bills and no insurance. They advised us to get a divorce so he could get him on Medicaid as my income wouldn't count, so that's what we did. We lived together still in a little house in Beckley. After he started school, I started to get phone calls very early in the morning from a woman who would ask for him. He was all happy to get these calls and said it was a married classmate who helped him along in school. Shortly after this he became violent, the first time ever, and held a knife to my throat in front of my son. I took him to the hospital and he was diagnosed as bipolar. He then told me his new friend, Sandy, had convinced him all of his problems were due to me and his mother. We separated and each took housing at the college since I had started as well. I was working 70 hour weeks and carrying 21 hours at school and doing well.
My oldest called me at work and told me he caught his dad and her in the act. I talked to him and he said it wasn't really sex since it was just oral. They became an item even though she was married. He had the balls to go to her house and go bowling with her and her husband and act like they were just friends. I had a student come up to me at school and ask me if I knew him and I told her yes, he was my ex. She knew Sandy and said this was a repeat pattern for her, she would take up with men to get her husband to buy her something to come home, rings, a car, etc. I talked to him about it and told him be careful. Boy she did not like this. She began to vandalize my truck and I had to go to administration, who in turn threatened her with expulsion. During this time I footed all the bills, paid his car payment, etc. I bought a home in Beckley and he came to me and said he was sorry, they had split up and could he come home. For the sake of the children, I let him after telling him she was not to call, have my number or any contact or that was it. The phone calls started soon after and they were an item again. She called and I told her if she didn't disappear, I'd let her husband know what was going on and she dared me, so I did. Next thing her and her husband showed up outside my home and I had to get deputies to have her removed. She and her husband later divorced. My ex graduated, then filed disability, got a large back payment, and did he let me go to school like he promised? No, he took off to Florida with the kids. I had to stop school and go to Florida. By this time I had remarried. While in Florida I got a fantastic job at a hospital in Ocala, making money hand over fist. When my current husband and I went to the store, we took two buggies, one for my ex and one for us. We paid his bills as he was always overdrawing his checking account. In a few months he told us Sandy was coming for a visit and then to live with him. She got into an argument with my second son and told him she needed a rental car to go get her stuff. He rented her one and she called him and told him it was on the Kroger parking lot 12 hours away and to come and get it. So who did he call to take him? You guessed it. He apologized all the way there for telling everybody I was the scum of the earth. When he went to get her, he borrowed one of our cars and said he was going one state away and ended up at her house, then cursed me to no end for being pissed.
He later said how lonely he was so I set him up on an online dating site and he soon met a nurse nearby and started to see her. He came to us one day and said she asked him to move in with her. I asked him did he love her and he said no, but it beat living with his mother. While she was at work he would throw out her things to clear out her house. Also during this time my daughter went for a visit and she tried to make her eat lettuce that had turned brown and when she refused, she smacked her off the chair. My son knew and he called the state, who investigated her actions with her and my youngest son, found it founded and found previous abuse of her own children and ordered them into anger counseling before they could see them unsupervised. My second son tried to stop him from going off on my youngest and his response was to throw his things out on my lawn. They then took off to Arizona and we didn't hear from him for a long time.
We decided to go home to WV. Shortly after going home, he wanted to visit so we let him for a day. He would call now and then while we were there. I would send my own kids birthday and holiday cards from him so they didn't think they were unloved. In hindsight, I shouldn't have done that. When my second oldest graduated he was going to go to WVU, so we moved to Keyser to get him closer and to be closer to the school for the blind. When his dad came for graduation, he talked him into leaving. He took him to Dallas and then to West Texas A&M. After they moved there, he laughed they were going to take off and leave him there on his own and they did. Out in the middle of nowhere, barely any housing and no car,
My son became ill with campylobacter working at the chicken processing plant in Moorefield. He was misdiagnosed and his digestive system was destroyed. We decided to leave and find a better climate for him to hopefully recover and get back to work, so we went to Missouri. He didn't get any better and had several surgeries. Finally they told us to take him back to Dallas where there are more specialists so we did. The specialist in Dallas refused to see him unless he had cash, saying he took only cash and not insurance. We had to pick up and go to Florida. We stayed in a rooming house near his mom and the kids stayed with her. My son was in and out of the hospital the entire time we were there. We took him to Shands and gave them all his records and such. They saw all the needle marks from his hospitalizations and branded him a heroin addict and tried to have him commited. We new this wasn't going to work so we went to Mississippi where we had family. They finally confirmed he needed his stomach removed, but he had run out of hospital days and they couldn't do it. We left there just before Katrina and went to Illinois, close to Columbia, Missouri where he was initially treated. During this time my ex continued to visit, would come for Christmas, continued calling at least 3 times a week and talking for house. I bought his wife Christmas gifts and later found out he would say he bought them. We all got tired of the winters in Illinois and wanted to get closer to home so we decided on Tennessee. We've been here over 10 years now.
My ex and his wife wanted to move here so they stayed with us until they found a house. She was thrilled to find a real house with furniture she didn't have to get rid of. He moved her all over as well. Once before she came she called to say she was ordering knitting supplied and he freaked because he owed her entire check to check cashing companies and she didn't know. She got a job at a local hospital making 25 an hour, which wasn't enough for him, so he hauled her back out west. When he left we got non stop calls from check cashing companies looking for him,
In 2008 I had surgery for Chiari, and he and his mom said they would come look after the kids. My surgery went very wrong and left me paralyzed. They only came to the hospital once for about 5 minutes. When I finally got to go home I found out he had tried to run off the boyfriend/girlfriend of my kids by telling them I didn't like them, and had actually tried to get my kids to leave with him, which they wouldn't. My oldest had gone to stay with him from Oregon to try and get away from his wife and get better. He was actually doing really well with no recent hospitalizations and then she came there too. His dad made him move out saying his job didn't allow him to be there, which was a lie, I asked the guy. It is very expensive in Arizona and they took a nasty apartment they couldn't afford. He wasn't eating well and not getting any medical care. He had been waiting for his medical card for over a year and was told he was backlogged because illegals had priority. My ex went so far as to cancel his cell phone and I had to beg him to start it back up in case of emergencies. We started to plan for my son to come home in the very near future, but he died before he could. I found out he had been living on borrowed nearly empty bottles of insulin given to him by neighbors. He didn't tell me because I was newly out of surgery and not in good shape, so he didn't want to worry me.
He was cremated and I asked my ex for a portion of the ashes for a locket and he said you couldn't open it, then I found out he did open it for my son's so called wife. I also found out he kept the ashes in the garage for several months before burial. When it came time for burial, I couldn't go, I was still paralyzed, and he told everybody I didn't go because there was nothing in it for me. At this time I found out what all his mother and him had been telling everybody, while still calling me and talking for hours like I was their long lost friend. They lied to my second son, told him I had the affairs, that I beat him so bad his great grandfather nearly had him removed, and much much more. His great grandfather on his dad's side had actually told me to raise the kids right and keep them away from him, that something wasn't right with him. I cut off all contact at this time and actually told his mother I could not continue this relationship. All this time she'd been telling me how she loved me like a daughter, then was going behind my back. They told my daughter I said she was a slut who had boys crawling in her window. This would have been interesting as the windows in her room were the long narrow ones you couldn't get a leg through.
He ended up having an affair with an old schoolmate when he went home for a reunion, and our son actually caught him and told him to tell his wife or he would. He didn't, so my son told her and she didn't believe it. He later took the new girlfriend to his wife's house to get his things. He used this girlfriend until her money ran out and has moved on to a widow who owns her own home and works, just what he likes, somebody who can keep him.
My daughter and her boyfriend came here so he could go to college while she's going, and he warned the boyfriend I was just trying to get him up here to run him off by controlling him. The whole mind control thing has been a running joke now. It's amazing what I accomplish and don't know it.
Last year my daughter needed several eye surgeries and of course he didn't help, wiped out my savings. A few years ago she had the opportunity to be fitted for the glasses with the camera and microchip so she could see and I had my part, but he said he spent all of his on two dogs.
During all this time I get messages from women asking about him and asking why I left him with 4 children, 2 of them with medical problems, to run off with somebody else. He posts on his facebook he's retired - well you have to have worked first. I got tired of the women messaging me so I told them if they want to know about him, do a background check. He even told them and his former stepson that I never worked, so I had to show him my social security statement showing I've worked since age 14. Here
is what I don't understand, he had the affairs, he couldn't hold the job, he decided to run around, so why does he lie on me? Does it make him feel better to pretend the mistakes were mine instead of accepting responsibility for his actions? That's the only thing I can figure. I've never lied to the children to get them not to like them, he did that on his own. When my youngest was maybe 10 he went to visit him and he watched while he nearly drowned and did nothing. His wife jumped on my son and my oldest told her to leave him alone so he put him on a bus and told him get out, and kept his truck. How do you live with yourself? We have come to the conclusion he has no conscious and no ability to care for anybody but himself. He is the purest form of a narcissist. He can trash talk me all he wants, my conscious is clear. He has had multiple chances to retract the lies he has told but he never will. It's a real shame when somebody goes through life with people not liking them and knowing how they really are. He made the statement that our second son will make enough money to keep him, so he's made every attempt to isolate him from the rest of us. I don't feel sorry for him because he chose his actions, but it's sad he leads such a miserable life.
I was married the first time just under 14 years. It was pretty uneventful, we had a lot in common regarding current events, the news, travel, etc. We were both working for the state and making a decent living with 2 small boys when he decided he wanted to leave WV for Dallas. I wasn't thrilled but I went along. His grandfather had bought us a car and kept the car to try to keep us from leaving. We went on a Greyhound bus to Dallas. Talk about culture shock. We rented a room in south Dallas, not the best neighborhood by any means. He got a job with the sheriffs department and we rented an apartment in Garland. It was a new complex but infested with roaches like you wouldn't believe. We stayed a few months then went to a neighboring complex. Later we went to Richardson. I got a job with a large insurance company downtown. I had to jump in there and learn to drive in that traffic. Imagine going from 2 lands to 8! I found it fun though. The storms scared the bejesus out of me to say the least. We did a lot with the boys, taking them to the zoo, Nasa, museums, etc. We were there a couple of years when he decided he wasn't moving up fast enough in his job. He decided we were going to Colorado, so off we went. We stayed in a really nice apartment when we first got there and then found a house in a great neighborhood. The rents were extremely high, the apartment was 550 back in 1987. The house was 400 because it needed work. It was an adorable bungalow and we had to take up the horse hair carpet, paint, tear out bushes out front, redo the kitchen. Our landlord was on a mission in Africa. From this point we made trips to all the forts in Wyoming, historic sites in Colorado, drove to Salt Lake City, on to Nevada, up to Mt Rushmore. It was like an extended vacation. He made good money for that time too. We got the house completed and furnished. During this time I would get anonymous calls from a female telling me my husband was making trips to the roof of the jail with a female officer, something he denied. One night when I went to pick him up from work, I watched him and this female get into her car and become very chummy, leaning in together. When I walked up to the car they both jumped and he assured me he was just comforting her during a bad situation.
Not long after that, I had sent the landlord photos of the work we had done and we got a letter asking us to stay in the home until he returned, rent free. Unfortunately he had decided to leave again, this time to Florida. Once again I had to get rid of nearly everything, I mailed boxes to the post office in Florida so we could pick them up when we got there. We made the trip and stayed in a god awful 8 x 30 mobile home. When I went to open a drawer, a flying roach came out and sent me screaming into the yard. We moved to a motel run by Indians who were very nice and we made friends with their family. He got a job at the prison and we found an apartment. Slowly we began to get it furnished, and found out our third child was on the way. I went to work in the officers bar just outside the prison. We were there when Bundy was in prison and I worked the bar the day he was executed. We had hundreds of visitors.
The only bad thing about this apartment was it was the migration route for wood spiders the size of saucers. I remember when one came through and went under the sofa sleeper, I picked the thing up with one arm and turned it over. We also had possum come to the back door and the boys and I would peek under the curtains and watch them. We had a crazy older neighbor who played the organ and sang, and I use that word loosely, all hours. When we asked her to turn it down, she began stealing our stuff and putting it in the dumpster. We moved across town to a 3 bedroom unit. It snowed right after we moved in and we about froze to death. It was cinderblock with single pane windows.
Again he didn't feel like he was moving up quick enough so he transferred to the prison outside Orlando. We moved into a high rise overlooking the Nasa launch pad. The launches were amazing to watch, and the sonic boom when the jets brought the shuttles back would jar you out of bed. We met people from all over the world and kept in touch for years. While here I went to work for the condos doing make readies and pool maintenance, besides having a large paper route. In all I brought home around 1200, good for 1990. Our daughter was born in 1991. It was excruciatingly hot on the yard at the prison and they would make him ride in a truck without air and just circle the yard nonstop. When he feel asleep they wrote him up. He worked a second job at Sears and caught a sergeant stealing a garage door opener and trying to get a refund. He talked to the boss at the prison and HE was the one who was ostracized, not the other guy.
Our daughter was born and that very night I went back to work on my route. I worked with Nasa engineers who had paper routes for extra money, and they got us tickets to watch launches up close. The larger apartment we had moved to was nice, but somebody tried to break in on us. We went to another and the night we came home from having our daughter at the ER, our car was stolen along with her special formula. A kid stole it and wrecked it and they refused to prosecute since he was so young. He decided he wasn't going to make it here and decided to go to Nebraska.
With 3 kids and a newborn I drove him up there. He decided to stay in a nice shelter while getting started to work and I went back to Florida. Soon after one of his coworkers invited him to stay with them. He went on and on about the guy's wife, Sonny, who was Korean (he loved foreign women). Every time I talked to him he went on and on about her. He finally found us a place to live so we packed up and went to Lincoln. When I got there he was standoffish and acted like he was hiding something. When I finally got it out of him, he'd had an affair with her, but said it was her fault. She lived 3 doors away with her husband and would stop over all the time, which was pretty ballsy. She and her husband eventually moved and I heard they divorced. My spouse acted like it was no big deal.
There I went to work in the mental health unit of the prison. It took nearly half an hour to go deep into the section where I worked. From there I went to work at the hospital, a very good job. Our oldest son had been diagnosed with diabetes in Florida and it was becoming very difficult to control. He was in and out of the hospital all the time and once was in for 8 months while they tried to control it. Our insurance tried to have him transferred to a psych facility so they would only have to pay 50% of the cost, but our cantor knew people at the news station who threatened to be there with cameras if they tried, so they stopped. My son became friends with Larry, the former KKK leader who had become friends with our cantor, Michael Weisser, and who Michael's family had taken in. He was also diabetic and he loved my son dearly.
Again he decided to leave, citing the prison system was too liberal. I liked it there, it was very very safe. He took us to Louisiana to see a prison in the middle of nowhere and there were nothing but cigar houses and a pizza hut in town. We took the kids there to eat and one person remarked cows weren't allowed indoors. Classy. When we got back to Nebraska I told him I'm not going there, I'm going home to WV. I was tired of being uprooted non stop. We went back and I went to work at the hospital and loved it. I had a lot of responsibility and the pay was good. He was working for the state police but decided it wasn't good enough and he wanted to go back to school and I said fine. He told me if I put him through he would work and let me not work for once and go. During this time our oldest became sicker and had over a quarter million in hospital bills and no insurance. They advised us to get a divorce so he could get him on Medicaid as my income wouldn't count, so that's what we did. We lived together still in a little house in Beckley. After he started school, I started to get phone calls very early in the morning from a woman who would ask for him. He was all happy to get these calls and said it was a married classmate who helped him along in school. Shortly after this he became violent, the first time ever, and held a knife to my throat in front of my son. I took him to the hospital and he was diagnosed as bipolar. He then told me his new friend, Sandy, had convinced him all of his problems were due to me and his mother. We separated and each took housing at the college since I had started as well. I was working 70 hour weeks and carrying 21 hours at school and doing well.
My oldest called me at work and told me he caught his dad and her in the act. I talked to him and he said it wasn't really sex since it was just oral. They became an item even though she was married. He had the balls to go to her house and go bowling with her and her husband and act like they were just friends. I had a student come up to me at school and ask me if I knew him and I told her yes, he was my ex. She knew Sandy and said this was a repeat pattern for her, she would take up with men to get her husband to buy her something to come home, rings, a car, etc. I talked to him about it and told him be careful. Boy she did not like this. She began to vandalize my truck and I had to go to administration, who in turn threatened her with expulsion. During this time I footed all the bills, paid his car payment, etc. I bought a home in Beckley and he came to me and said he was sorry, they had split up and could he come home. For the sake of the children, I let him after telling him she was not to call, have my number or any contact or that was it. The phone calls started soon after and they were an item again. She called and I told her if she didn't disappear, I'd let her husband know what was going on and she dared me, so I did. Next thing her and her husband showed up outside my home and I had to get deputies to have her removed. She and her husband later divorced. My ex graduated, then filed disability, got a large back payment, and did he let me go to school like he promised? No, he took off to Florida with the kids. I had to stop school and go to Florida. By this time I had remarried. While in Florida I got a fantastic job at a hospital in Ocala, making money hand over fist. When my current husband and I went to the store, we took two buggies, one for my ex and one for us. We paid his bills as he was always overdrawing his checking account. In a few months he told us Sandy was coming for a visit and then to live with him. She got into an argument with my second son and told him she needed a rental car to go get her stuff. He rented her one and she called him and told him it was on the Kroger parking lot 12 hours away and to come and get it. So who did he call to take him? You guessed it. He apologized all the way there for telling everybody I was the scum of the earth. When he went to get her, he borrowed one of our cars and said he was going one state away and ended up at her house, then cursed me to no end for being pissed.
He later said how lonely he was so I set him up on an online dating site and he soon met a nurse nearby and started to see her. He came to us one day and said she asked him to move in with her. I asked him did he love her and he said no, but it beat living with his mother. While she was at work he would throw out her things to clear out her house. Also during this time my daughter went for a visit and she tried to make her eat lettuce that had turned brown and when she refused, she smacked her off the chair. My son knew and he called the state, who investigated her actions with her and my youngest son, found it founded and found previous abuse of her own children and ordered them into anger counseling before they could see them unsupervised. My second son tried to stop him from going off on my youngest and his response was to throw his things out on my lawn. They then took off to Arizona and we didn't hear from him for a long time.
We decided to go home to WV. Shortly after going home, he wanted to visit so we let him for a day. He would call now and then while we were there. I would send my own kids birthday and holiday cards from him so they didn't think they were unloved. In hindsight, I shouldn't have done that. When my second oldest graduated he was going to go to WVU, so we moved to Keyser to get him closer and to be closer to the school for the blind. When his dad came for graduation, he talked him into leaving. He took him to Dallas and then to West Texas A&M. After they moved there, he laughed they were going to take off and leave him there on his own and they did. Out in the middle of nowhere, barely any housing and no car,
My son became ill with campylobacter working at the chicken processing plant in Moorefield. He was misdiagnosed and his digestive system was destroyed. We decided to leave and find a better climate for him to hopefully recover and get back to work, so we went to Missouri. He didn't get any better and had several surgeries. Finally they told us to take him back to Dallas where there are more specialists so we did. The specialist in Dallas refused to see him unless he had cash, saying he took only cash and not insurance. We had to pick up and go to Florida. We stayed in a rooming house near his mom and the kids stayed with her. My son was in and out of the hospital the entire time we were there. We took him to Shands and gave them all his records and such. They saw all the needle marks from his hospitalizations and branded him a heroin addict and tried to have him commited. We new this wasn't going to work so we went to Mississippi where we had family. They finally confirmed he needed his stomach removed, but he had run out of hospital days and they couldn't do it. We left there just before Katrina and went to Illinois, close to Columbia, Missouri where he was initially treated. During this time my ex continued to visit, would come for Christmas, continued calling at least 3 times a week and talking for house. I bought his wife Christmas gifts and later found out he would say he bought them. We all got tired of the winters in Illinois and wanted to get closer to home so we decided on Tennessee. We've been here over 10 years now.
My ex and his wife wanted to move here so they stayed with us until they found a house. She was thrilled to find a real house with furniture she didn't have to get rid of. He moved her all over as well. Once before she came she called to say she was ordering knitting supplied and he freaked because he owed her entire check to check cashing companies and she didn't know. She got a job at a local hospital making 25 an hour, which wasn't enough for him, so he hauled her back out west. When he left we got non stop calls from check cashing companies looking for him,
In 2008 I had surgery for Chiari, and he and his mom said they would come look after the kids. My surgery went very wrong and left me paralyzed. They only came to the hospital once for about 5 minutes. When I finally got to go home I found out he had tried to run off the boyfriend/girlfriend of my kids by telling them I didn't like them, and had actually tried to get my kids to leave with him, which they wouldn't. My oldest had gone to stay with him from Oregon to try and get away from his wife and get better. He was actually doing really well with no recent hospitalizations and then she came there too. His dad made him move out saying his job didn't allow him to be there, which was a lie, I asked the guy. It is very expensive in Arizona and they took a nasty apartment they couldn't afford. He wasn't eating well and not getting any medical care. He had been waiting for his medical card for over a year and was told he was backlogged because illegals had priority. My ex went so far as to cancel his cell phone and I had to beg him to start it back up in case of emergencies. We started to plan for my son to come home in the very near future, but he died before he could. I found out he had been living on borrowed nearly empty bottles of insulin given to him by neighbors. He didn't tell me because I was newly out of surgery and not in good shape, so he didn't want to worry me.
He was cremated and I asked my ex for a portion of the ashes for a locket and he said you couldn't open it, then I found out he did open it for my son's so called wife. I also found out he kept the ashes in the garage for several months before burial. When it came time for burial, I couldn't go, I was still paralyzed, and he told everybody I didn't go because there was nothing in it for me. At this time I found out what all his mother and him had been telling everybody, while still calling me and talking for hours like I was their long lost friend. They lied to my second son, told him I had the affairs, that I beat him so bad his great grandfather nearly had him removed, and much much more. His great grandfather on his dad's side had actually told me to raise the kids right and keep them away from him, that something wasn't right with him. I cut off all contact at this time and actually told his mother I could not continue this relationship. All this time she'd been telling me how she loved me like a daughter, then was going behind my back. They told my daughter I said she was a slut who had boys crawling in her window. This would have been interesting as the windows in her room were the long narrow ones you couldn't get a leg through.
He ended up having an affair with an old schoolmate when he went home for a reunion, and our son actually caught him and told him to tell his wife or he would. He didn't, so my son told her and she didn't believe it. He later took the new girlfriend to his wife's house to get his things. He used this girlfriend until her money ran out and has moved on to a widow who owns her own home and works, just what he likes, somebody who can keep him.
My daughter and her boyfriend came here so he could go to college while she's going, and he warned the boyfriend I was just trying to get him up here to run him off by controlling him. The whole mind control thing has been a running joke now. It's amazing what I accomplish and don't know it.
Last year my daughter needed several eye surgeries and of course he didn't help, wiped out my savings. A few years ago she had the opportunity to be fitted for the glasses with the camera and microchip so she could see and I had my part, but he said he spent all of his on two dogs.
During all this time I get messages from women asking about him and asking why I left him with 4 children, 2 of them with medical problems, to run off with somebody else. He posts on his facebook he's retired - well you have to have worked first. I got tired of the women messaging me so I told them if they want to know about him, do a background check. He even told them and his former stepson that I never worked, so I had to show him my social security statement showing I've worked since age 14. Here
is what I don't understand, he had the affairs, he couldn't hold the job, he decided to run around, so why does he lie on me? Does it make him feel better to pretend the mistakes were mine instead of accepting responsibility for his actions? That's the only thing I can figure. I've never lied to the children to get them not to like them, he did that on his own. When my youngest was maybe 10 he went to visit him and he watched while he nearly drowned and did nothing. His wife jumped on my son and my oldest told her to leave him alone so he put him on a bus and told him get out, and kept his truck. How do you live with yourself? We have come to the conclusion he has no conscious and no ability to care for anybody but himself. He is the purest form of a narcissist. He can trash talk me all he wants, my conscious is clear. He has had multiple chances to retract the lies he has told but he never will. It's a real shame when somebody goes through life with people not liking them and knowing how they really are. He made the statement that our second son will make enough money to keep him, so he's made every attempt to isolate him from the rest of us. I don't feel sorry for him because he chose his actions, but it's sad he leads such a miserable life.
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