You don't matter anymore
When I was younger, I used to wonder why older people seemed pushy and grumpy. I've figured it out. After you go through a lifetime of putting up with shit and working your ass off, you get to the point you know you won't live that long and you don't really care.
I haven't spoken to my ex since after my son died, and he either knows why or he's more of an idiot than I imagined. It's been a pleasant nearly 4 years. Recently he reared his ugly head yet again. My daughter took off about 2 years ago, left her husband for an out-of-work Cuban. She went to Florida and tried it with his family and with hers, then came back to Tennessee. About a week ago she started messaging her brother and e-mailing me talking about how much she missed us and all, and how she wanted to come visit. Then on Friday she said her dad just showed up out of the blue and by Saturday she had blocked her e-mail, twitter, and stopped messaging her brother. There's a big shock. We figure her dad was on his way to see the mistress she says he has in WV, then to his stepdaughters, then to his son's since they are speaking again. Wherever he goes, a huge dark cloud follows him.
I never thought it was possible to have a hatred you can't control, but I do. I loathe him. My son hopes he gets ass cancer. This was a man who for years came to visit us, called me nearly every day of the week just to talk, told me how we'd known each other nearly our whole life and how much he cared. His mom is just as bad, told me I'm like the daughter she never had, called, wrote, you name it, we even went to Florida to pick her up. She tells us how horrible her son is to her, how she has nobody, then we find out she has gone behind my back, just like him, and told it was my fault we got a divorce, I was the one who cheated and did drugs (this while working multiple jobs and working in the hospital where they do random tests), how I told him how horrible my kids were (didn't happen), told my daughter he wasn't sure he was her father (that's a laugh), how I never worked (have social security records to prove I've worked since I was 14). His wife's son was with me for 2 years and told all about how bad he treated him, made him feel like nothing, etc. Big surprise there, then turned out he says my daughter did him the same way. I had hoped their relationship would work.
When I met him, he was working for the ambulance authority as a volunteer driver, I was an EMT (paid), he also worked as a St. Albans cop until his mom got him let go, which was her plan. He then went to work as an autopsy assistant, that wasn't good enough, driver examiner, that wasn't good enough, Kanawha County in the jail, that wasn't good enough. In the meantime I had worked nearly 4 years with the state. He up and decided we were going to Dallas, so we did on a bus. Stayed in the horrible part of town. He worked for the sheriff there 1 year then didn't feel like he was getting promoted quick enough, dragged us to Denver. Worked for Boulder sheriff - it was here I first heard he was having an affair and actually caught him in the car with a coworker. He didn't stay there either. We had remodeled a house to the point the owner was going to let us stay a year free, but noooo, he wanted to leave, so we went to Florida. He worked for FSP, they didn't promote him fast enough, he went to the facility across the road, that wasn't good enough, took us to Titusville and they didn't like him there at all, so that didn't last, so he took us to Nebraska, Loved it there, but he said they were too liberal and wanted to go to Louisiana out in the boonies. Hell no, it was horrible, told him I'm going home and I did, back to WV and worked there 4-1/2 years. He got a job with the state police as a dispatcher but that wasn't good enough so he said he wanted to finish college, if I'd help, then he'd work and let me finish. So he quit, I paid all the bills and put him through while working 70 hour weeks at the hospital. While there he met a woman named Sandy, she was married. She began calling the house all hours telling him she baked him bread and all. He claimed it was all platonic until my oldest caught them together. He claimed it wasn't cheating or sex since it was a "Clinton" deal. We split for good at that time. He graduated and promptly filed for disability, mental, got his student loans paid off and besides a couple of part time jobs spread out, never worked again. He claims on his FB site he is retired. Retired from WHAT? being a human being? being a liar? Sure isn't from working. He also claims he raised 4 kids and 2 of them sick with no help. Boy that's an easy one to prove. I raised them all. Tony didn't leave until he went off to college in Texas, Brian is still in school, Lindsay didn't go see him until she graduated and she said he was hooked on porn and going to strip joints then she left real quick and came back. Actually I had to pay her way back as he dropped her in Texas and left her and her husband. He tells a good story though, he could talk anybody out of anything. Claims to be a soldier, got his priesthood offline for 20.00 (showed me the site when he got it) so he could go in the guard as a chaplain. He married a woman who makes very good money but she said he won't let her have a home with her own stuff, he keeps her transferring to make money. They stayed with us and found a place and she was happy to finally be getting some furniture and what did he do? Jerked her right back out west. Her son said he tried to warn her about the women and what he has done and she refuses to listen, which is sad. He told one son he was abused so as a child he was nearly taken away (didn't happen and you've seen on tv about created memories). It used to infuriate me what he has done, now it just makes me shake my head. I told my former MIL a few months back I'm done, I know what she has been telling and what she has done to these kids and to my son who died has earned her a special place in hell, and she has to live with it and I refuse to listen to anything she has to say. She sent her grandson restaurant gift cards for Christmas and then told him the rest never come and see her and we already knew 2 of them were just there. Just more lies. I told her if any of them had ever held a job they wouldn't have time for this crap. None of them work and haven't work. They live off the government.
Brian and I have a pleasant existence. I am in great hopes he finds the girl of his dreams and has a family because he certainly knows what NOT to do as far as raising children. We don't bother anybody, we don't tell tales on people, we don't lie on people or to people, it's not worth the energy. I've been contacted by women online asking me how I could have done him like I did, cheating, drugs, dumping all 4 kids and I just have to laugh and tell them to do a background check for 25.00 and they'll find out what he's telling. He honestly must feel like he's nothing to invent such stories. He has been a failure in every way, in work, in marriage, in raising children. He has never had close friends, nobody would stand him because he would argue his point was right whether it mattered or not. He would finally walk away and I've seen his coworkers shake their heads. I felt sorry for him because he had and doesn't have any interpersonal skills. I loved his dad, Elwood Holmes. He felt his family was "too country" because they were from Sissonville. I found them delightful and real and loved them to death.
Doug, I feel sorry for you and I hope before you die you become a man and own up to what you've done. Whether you're wiccan today or druid, it seems to change, whatever you do you have to carry with you to the next life and if you believe in reincarnation, I hope you like roaches. As for the rest of us, we just shake our heads so don't think you are making an ounce of impact because you aren't. I feel sorry for Mary because she needs to be loved to the point of letting you get by with so much and she doesn't deserve it.
I haven't spoken to my ex since after my son died, and he either knows why or he's more of an idiot than I imagined. It's been a pleasant nearly 4 years. Recently he reared his ugly head yet again. My daughter took off about 2 years ago, left her husband for an out-of-work Cuban. She went to Florida and tried it with his family and with hers, then came back to Tennessee. About a week ago she started messaging her brother and e-mailing me talking about how much she missed us and all, and how she wanted to come visit. Then on Friday she said her dad just showed up out of the blue and by Saturday she had blocked her e-mail, twitter, and stopped messaging her brother. There's a big shock. We figure her dad was on his way to see the mistress she says he has in WV, then to his stepdaughters, then to his son's since they are speaking again. Wherever he goes, a huge dark cloud follows him.
I never thought it was possible to have a hatred you can't control, but I do. I loathe him. My son hopes he gets ass cancer. This was a man who for years came to visit us, called me nearly every day of the week just to talk, told me how we'd known each other nearly our whole life and how much he cared. His mom is just as bad, told me I'm like the daughter she never had, called, wrote, you name it, we even went to Florida to pick her up. She tells us how horrible her son is to her, how she has nobody, then we find out she has gone behind my back, just like him, and told it was my fault we got a divorce, I was the one who cheated and did drugs (this while working multiple jobs and working in the hospital where they do random tests), how I told him how horrible my kids were (didn't happen), told my daughter he wasn't sure he was her father (that's a laugh), how I never worked (have social security records to prove I've worked since I was 14). His wife's son was with me for 2 years and told all about how bad he treated him, made him feel like nothing, etc. Big surprise there, then turned out he says my daughter did him the same way. I had hoped their relationship would work.
When I met him, he was working for the ambulance authority as a volunteer driver, I was an EMT (paid), he also worked as a St. Albans cop until his mom got him let go, which was her plan. He then went to work as an autopsy assistant, that wasn't good enough, driver examiner, that wasn't good enough, Kanawha County in the jail, that wasn't good enough. In the meantime I had worked nearly 4 years with the state. He up and decided we were going to Dallas, so we did on a bus. Stayed in the horrible part of town. He worked for the sheriff there 1 year then didn't feel like he was getting promoted quick enough, dragged us to Denver. Worked for Boulder sheriff - it was here I first heard he was having an affair and actually caught him in the car with a coworker. He didn't stay there either. We had remodeled a house to the point the owner was going to let us stay a year free, but noooo, he wanted to leave, so we went to Florida. He worked for FSP, they didn't promote him fast enough, he went to the facility across the road, that wasn't good enough, took us to Titusville and they didn't like him there at all, so that didn't last, so he took us to Nebraska, Loved it there, but he said they were too liberal and wanted to go to Louisiana out in the boonies. Hell no, it was horrible, told him I'm going home and I did, back to WV and worked there 4-1/2 years. He got a job with the state police as a dispatcher but that wasn't good enough so he said he wanted to finish college, if I'd help, then he'd work and let me finish. So he quit, I paid all the bills and put him through while working 70 hour weeks at the hospital. While there he met a woman named Sandy, she was married. She began calling the house all hours telling him she baked him bread and all. He claimed it was all platonic until my oldest caught them together. He claimed it wasn't cheating or sex since it was a "Clinton" deal. We split for good at that time. He graduated and promptly filed for disability, mental, got his student loans paid off and besides a couple of part time jobs spread out, never worked again. He claims on his FB site he is retired. Retired from WHAT? being a human being? being a liar? Sure isn't from working. He also claims he raised 4 kids and 2 of them sick with no help. Boy that's an easy one to prove. I raised them all. Tony didn't leave until he went off to college in Texas, Brian is still in school, Lindsay didn't go see him until she graduated and she said he was hooked on porn and going to strip joints then she left real quick and came back. Actually I had to pay her way back as he dropped her in Texas and left her and her husband. He tells a good story though, he could talk anybody out of anything. Claims to be a soldier, got his priesthood offline for 20.00 (showed me the site when he got it) so he could go in the guard as a chaplain. He married a woman who makes very good money but she said he won't let her have a home with her own stuff, he keeps her transferring to make money. They stayed with us and found a place and she was happy to finally be getting some furniture and what did he do? Jerked her right back out west. Her son said he tried to warn her about the women and what he has done and she refuses to listen, which is sad. He told one son he was abused so as a child he was nearly taken away (didn't happen and you've seen on tv about created memories). It used to infuriate me what he has done, now it just makes me shake my head. I told my former MIL a few months back I'm done, I know what she has been telling and what she has done to these kids and to my son who died has earned her a special place in hell, and she has to live with it and I refuse to listen to anything she has to say. She sent her grandson restaurant gift cards for Christmas and then told him the rest never come and see her and we already knew 2 of them were just there. Just more lies. I told her if any of them had ever held a job they wouldn't have time for this crap. None of them work and haven't work. They live off the government.
Brian and I have a pleasant existence. I am in great hopes he finds the girl of his dreams and has a family because he certainly knows what NOT to do as far as raising children. We don't bother anybody, we don't tell tales on people, we don't lie on people or to people, it's not worth the energy. I've been contacted by women online asking me how I could have done him like I did, cheating, drugs, dumping all 4 kids and I just have to laugh and tell them to do a background check for 25.00 and they'll find out what he's telling. He honestly must feel like he's nothing to invent such stories. He has been a failure in every way, in work, in marriage, in raising children. He has never had close friends, nobody would stand him because he would argue his point was right whether it mattered or not. He would finally walk away and I've seen his coworkers shake their heads. I felt sorry for him because he had and doesn't have any interpersonal skills. I loved his dad, Elwood Holmes. He felt his family was "too country" because they were from Sissonville. I found them delightful and real and loved them to death.
Doug, I feel sorry for you and I hope before you die you become a man and own up to what you've done. Whether you're wiccan today or druid, it seems to change, whatever you do you have to carry with you to the next life and if you believe in reincarnation, I hope you like roaches. As for the rest of us, we just shake our heads so don't think you are making an ounce of impact because you aren't. I feel sorry for Mary because she needs to be loved to the point of letting you get by with so much and she doesn't deserve it.
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