On the road again

Due to start moving the end of the week. Since Brian came back home this place was just too small. We have a storage building the size of a small apartment that is absolutely full. We found a place at the last minute really, our mechanic has a friend who mentioned he had the place listed. It's large with a full basement and a huge yard, about 5 times the size I need really. The kitchen has been remodeled and he did a lot of work, took out the electric baseboard heat and put in a heat pump. The only thing I don't care for are the parquet floors. I can deal with them though, I'm just happy to have a roof over our heads and still be able to provide. I worry about that a lot due to health reasons. Even though Brian and his fiancee turned out not to be compatible, I was sorry for him they broke up. I want him to meet a nice girl and have a solid future. He'll be a great father in spite of his father. I think he sees what's important. I had a big case of the guilts this week. I wish I could get those thoughts out of my mind. I should have stopped their father from moving us all over the country. Glad we got to see everything, but it had to have been hard on them changing schools. They seem well rounded but still they didn't get to form the life-long friendships. Still no word from Lindsay, it's been a couple of months now. I got her medical bills in the mail and hope she is doing okay. She quit writing right after telling me her ex was back home and staying in the closet all the time. Never know if that's true or not, he sure didn't seem that way to me, he was a good conversationalist and I liked him, but I've been fooled before. I don't know Yoel very well. He was at the house a few times but would never look you in the eye. I do hope she is happy with him and I certainly hope she gets her mind straightened out. I don't know why she says what she does, it's not like she was desperate for a place to live or a way to live, half my salary went to her and her husband for 2 years, they wanted for nothing. I paid their rent, utilities, bought them a car, furniture, you name it. It's all gone now, she has very little in her apartment. For some reason she feels the need to lie and lie a lot. She had a fortunate raising with everything she wanted, beautiful homes, and worshiped as any daughter should be. I do hope she matures and grows out of it. I'm getting older and life is too short. As for my ex, he has a lot to answer for. As much of a pain as Bob can be, he sure stepped in an raised these kids and did everything for them and as much as he is able to love, he loves them. We always made sure they had a huge Christmas. It gets lonesome with the holidays coming up, but the child is here who has been steadfast in his support. He never waivered with helping me when it was so bad. We always had good laughs as far as my illness and lack of ability to get around, and of course my memory and he reminds me of things and very slowly they come back. We have invited 3 of his Chinese friends for Thanksgiving and this should be a lot of fun. I don't like for people to be alone on holidays, even if it's holidays they have never celebrated. Of course it's remarkable to talk to people from other countries. The election is coming up and the future uncertain. I hope we can get this country back on track. We're quickly becoming third world and we need to do more for our people instead of sending money overseas to people who would sooner see us dead. There are things I'm thankful for. I'm thankful to see another fall, my favorite time of year. The chill in the air and smell of fireplaces are calming and cozy. I am thankful of still being able to work and provide. I am thankful for my children no matter how they act, at least they are good kids and haven't been in trouble, no druggies, drinkers, etc. No illegitimate children. I miss Chris everyday and Brian and I talk about him everyday. We watched Robocop last night and we lived in Dallas when they filmed it there and I remember Chris doing the walk and the sound effects. God I miss that boy and I miss Jason, his stepson. Wish I'd had more time to be with him. Even though his wife did a lot, I do understand what she was going through with his health and I hope she has straightened her life out. I'm thankful for finding old friends on Facebook, even those who disappear for unknown reasons. I'm told one disappeared because they felt like they were being talked about, if they were it wasn't me, I don't have time for that. When you work 15 hours a day and 7 days a week, trivial stuff gets put way in the background. I don't tolerate liars in any form, family or not family. I don't hate them, just don't fool with them. One person on there wanted me to dump one of my lifelong friends for calling him out for being filthy mouthed and when I wouldn't, he disappeared very fast but that's okay, he seemed to have anger issues anyway, which is a sad way to live your life. Christmas is sneaking up on me, gotta get busy. Bob's excited to decorate the house of course. It's on a cul-de-sac so not that many will see it. Anxious for the dog to be able to get out and run in a fenced yard, she's never done that. Not looking forward to this move, it's hard on me, but I'll get it done and organized. Have to get some living room furniture now that we have the room. We are supposed to pick up the new (used) car on Tuesday. It's been being painted and such. Hope it runs as well as the old Ford we had, it was an amazing car. Love goes out to Lindsay and Tony as always, and to Brian, my right arm, my baby boy.